Friday, November 12, 2004
haix.. my heart is still kind of sour sour de.. tears want to row down but i control.. what's going on with mi again and again? this week i can say i cry almost the whole week.. i dunno y am i so week.. simply cry and cry.. haix.. but u think i want? argh..!!!!!
yesterday i slept at 12+. as because i'm very tired so i went to sleep that early.. while sleeping i dream of something.. i dream that i told my dad that my b`dae coming and ask him to buy me a phone. at first he dun allow BUt i keep onm saying things that make him buay ta han den he agreed.. and after he agreed i say really hoh, u dun bluff hoh.. just after the dream finish my house telephone rang.. its my stupid brother who called and ask mi to help him on the AIR-CON.. isn't it too much? haix.. so i have no choice to wake up to help him. and after that when i wanted to go back and sleep, i realise that i can't.. so i went to my own room and on my computer, played MapleStory again... i cre8 another charater lorh.. wanna be a thief.. i did not go for my first 2 lesson.. den at 9.30 like that Ayu called me asking where am I? i told her i'm at home and only 4 of them in cLass only, just after she hang less den 5 mins Mrs Tay called me.. she ask Aijuna, Jessie and me go find her she wanna give us something.. at first tot she gonna give us Testimonal but how we know she give us a present.. we are sooo surprise lorh.. really thanks alot MRs Tay, MuackiEeeeeEee... Love ya.. den yah, ad my EFW test today. it's still alright for me lorh.. still can do ba.. den after that went to canteen to have our Lunch. eat finish liao go office find Mrs Tay, we were there for quite sometime lorh.. teaching her how to use her Handphone and send ringtone. den when it's time for us to go off, it rain.. den hjave no choice to stay in schOoL.. 4 of us rot at the canteen.. until we tot of helping Mrs Tay by going Retail Studio. but she dun wan she wan us go help her.. bleah.. den we go.. but Jessie went off coz she going to find her friend nor.. so left Shuyi, Aijuan and me.. we help her to arrange the Retail Studio de things lorh.. den do untl going to 3 liao she drive us home. first she drive Aijuan to Jurong East MRT station den she drive Shuyi and me to Bukit Batok.. But at first she tot i stay at Bukit panjang. i find that the ways she drive very strange.. den i tell her, i stay at Bukit Batok leix.. den she huh.. i tot u BP? haha.. den i say no lah.. is BB. den she say wow i bluff her... diaox.. lolx.. den yah, she very toot sia.. after we alight ask her to turn right she go straight so i know she dunno how to go liao.. haha.. den went to but something den come back home.. watched tv... den 6+ shuyi went off.. i was playing computer lorh..
den around 6.50 my dad came back and haix.. knwo what after he bathe he go out. i dun understand y he's so BUSY.. dun even care about me.. i was so sad lorh.. i dunno whenever i say this will anyone really believe me.. but i can say is TRUE lorh.. i cry almost everyday just because i'm very loneLy.. i wonder will i be blind one day anot.. haix.. den just now watch tv i cry.. and haix... i was very sad sad sad.. i really dunno will my dream come true mah.. chatted with paul but we had a small quarrel.. i really dun understand ba. suan liaox.. maybe it's me maybe it's him.. forget it.. think i dun bother much.. i dun wanna care much already.. i just hope i can die faster and leave this world without so much suffering. and i hope if i die this blog will be able to let my parents and read.. they really duno how lonely am i.. all they know about me is the bad side of me.. they dunno the real me.. and no one wil know.. not even my best friend, my close friend.. NOPE... my cousin.? somtetimes she knows.. BUT whats the use if she knows and not mine parents? will they care about me even if i die? i think no ba.. think they will care for my brother more ba.. haix.. I wonder if my dad wont get me a phone, i think this war between me and him will begin.. and i gonna SAY things OUT.. i really cannot keep already.. i wanna tell them WHAT I FEEL ABOUT THEM.. it's Unfair for them to treat me this way.. i need some decipline FROM THEm.. i nEED STRESS FROM THEM.. I NEED SCOLDING from them to wash mine brain.. i wonder why whenever i need them by my side they are not around.. i wonder if they know i cry at night to force myself to sleep when i quarrel with them? will they know? maybe they think that i like to quarrel with them ba.. haix.. My life is damn sucks..
think i should go off already..
PS: i'm crying and typing this blog.. and i'm not lying.. haix.. i'm really very stress lorh.. WHO KNOW HOW I FEEL???????????????????????????????
BabyStridy fades away at
11:29:00 PM;