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I'm very FAN ah.. I don't know what to do.. i really don't.. haiz.. why is there so much trouble troubling me? or am I thinking too much? I really don't know. I'm stress, vexed.. I broke into tears, for days.. WHY? I tot everything is okay? but why now seems to have problem again?

Wake up at 8.30 in the morning, and went online, last minute tot of burning disc so that i can listen. So at 9 i went to bathe until 9.20 like that. At 9.30 i still at there download songs.. Pro right? haix.. Some more i start burning disc at 9.30+ like that, and i tot can lah should be can make it by 9.45 but haix.. dunno is suay or what CD got problem so have to re-burnt. well, i tot change another disc would be alright, BUT never will i know that the same problem occurs. i was like diao~ and i hack care it and just go off as i am going to be late if i did not catch the 10am de bus.. So i quickly walk.. Reached bus-stop and in a few minutes time the bus came, in the bus i was reading my comics and did not notice that Jessie was behind. i only know when she alight.. we saw Junzhuo at the Traffic Light and we walk into school together. Hmm, they were in the canteen, waiting for Patricia to finish her food as they don't know that there's a break for us instead of having EFW. So they all ate, hmm never mind they said.. so i also hack care them, den i went to the locker to take yanbin and Jessie books.. Then we went to the computer lab there to wait and we do not know that we are allow to enter the room.. grrr..! so bad sia Derek and Sijun..! So we went in, and Mrs Tay was not here today like what she say maybe she will not be here, so we were given time to do the Student Portal thing, but i did not i was talking and i admit BUT my computer and Huipings com cannot be used so i have no choice i never do and my OWN home computer cannot be used either.. was like WTH loh.. haix.. Yupz was pretty alright in class as we are joking all this.. And u know what? Something make me very the sad.. Refer to the conversation:

Patricia: Annie lent me your phone.
Annie: Orh.
Siewfong: Yanbin got mah, take hers lah.
Patricia: looking very blur at me.
Annie: You take hers loh.

u know how sad am I.? why she say until like that? Or she do hate me again? i'm not sure..! i'm just very shock by what she says..! real SAD u know.. and it's not the first time for this month.. did i offend her? did i? i don't.. i didn't owe u anything okae.. Ok, monday i think i gonna bring what belong to u people and return to u all, i know i keep for very long.. Monday i promise i will RETURN..! i don't fuck care what u all think.. if it's what u all want to treat me i will return back..! And after that we went to the canteen to eat, and u know what? haix. there's problem between Junzhuo and Weiling.. I don't really know what happen.. Haix, he don't want to sit with us when she saw Weiling and the next table was Shuming and Aijuan they all he also don't want to sit, and i was like eh, arbo i change with u loh, he don't want. den i asked Shuming come over and she kao bei alot loh.. knn..! i get pissed off and i go over to Aijuan side loh. ANd Junzhuo still don't want come back..! i felt so sad, helping him finding place and we get attitude and he jolly well don't want to come.. haix.. suan liao loh..! really very sad loh..! lucky got Bridget to release my stress, i told her everything... she console me.. thanks bridget..! without u i think i have no friends other than u and cindy..! thanks alot..! than eat le went to bus Yohgurt, nice..! yummy.. after that sit at canteen and forget time to be at foyer.. until Mrs Teo asked us..! lolx.. den we take attandance le we board the bus, i sit with Junzhuo, was reading comic in the bus, den went to see see the Career Fair, den after that 2+ we went off, took 963 and was reading Comics, and i received a phone call by Bridget, she was in the same bus as me... lol.. still call.. den i entertain her loh.. lolx.. den she came over to the end, but i have to alight.. sorrie..! reach home, online, having a BIG headache..! wanted to rest but did not, send Shuyi songs, talk to Liling, went to bathe and watch Tv. And suddenLy i get very FAN.. i don't know why.. I cried again loh.. haix..! know why?

1) Albert
2) Present
3) Why she keep asking me to buy?
4) My dad

1) Albert.
Why albert? hmm i've been thinking if i never tell him i like him jiu bu shi mei you problem ler loh, but i itchy mouth went to tell him and now he's like ai li bu li.. even thought he's much more better den last time where he keep avoiding me from now got talk i'm more happie, i always wanted to talk to him but there's nothing to talk.. i'm so sad.. i tried to forget about him once and fall for another guy and i did It, end up that guy is like play with me loh.. i don't know is he serious saying all those things to me mah loh.. I really don't know loh, maybe he is just playing with me after knowing i like him and say those things that make me have so big Confident but now..? well, he's now happily with his girlfriend isn't it? good for him..!

2) present.
Why? I actually wanted to buy a present for him after i know that i ffall for him after knowing when is his birthday.. and i already know what to buy already, and i tot that the day come i will buy, but now, i keep thinking of want to buy mah.. because the decision was made before everything gone that way..! i long wanted to buy for him..! but now? everything is like gone and i don't know if i shouLd buy or not, it's not a good idea buying for him when he has a girlfriend right? haix, feel like crying u know..!!!

3) Why she keep asking me to buy and go?
Why? haix, i have this friend knowing i like this guy and know whats happening. And i told her about what he said to me, she said i must go grab the chance, BUT girl, he had a girlfriend, u think i wil be that bad to break them up? and even if i have the abililty to do that they also wont right? u think i am a spoiler? haix. and today i asked her if i still want to buy for him mah, she keep asking me to buy, ask mi to think and think don't regret.. well, regret also no use, even i buy he wont leave his girlfriend and be with me right? even if i go, will he even bother me? u say lei? of coz not. i will only be sitting there looking at how close they are all this only mah.. will make me more sad only, i dun wan to be sad so i choose not to go.! i know it's abit stupid but do u think they care or rather he care? by going i can get what in return? u say lah? i lose trust in her, stop asking me to buy or Go.. if u wan u GO..! haix..

4) my dad.
Why? haix. just now i look at his phone and saw something very wired, why he like never put wallpaper and suddenly so clever know how to put date infront and i was curious and i check his phone i know i have no right to do that, but i really have to do it.. it's like during tuesday i think he receive a phone call at 12mid night and he say he don't know who..! of coz i will supect right? den today i check his photo i saw nothing ok never mind, was very relief.. BUT when i saw the call register things i saw a contact save as KTV, do my dad go there often? i'm not sure, i only know that he's not what i think now..! i've already lose intrested in the family already, just don't let me found out that he is doing anything Funny to us can already, because there was once i pass thru this KTV at bukit Panjang when i was take 176 alone, i saw a couple and quarreling with a small children infront of there so i think that it's the guy who was at the KTV and was being found out by his wife..! haix.. i dun wish to find out anything and dun make me FAN all this can my dad? haix.. i really feel like ending my life so that i can stop thinking u know.. but i can't..! argh.. i still want to study. i don't even have the gard to ask him for money u know? i wanted to buy clothing but i dare not ask both my mum and dad... they will kao pei mi.. frankly speaking if my brother wans i think they will give him..! really. can say i'm jealous but it's true.. some more my brother need sponsor to help him pay the suit for the temple de thing my mum say she will help him and pay.. i was so JEALOUS loh, i agreed.. why can't i get something from them when i requested? only allow when i cried? Am i not important to them? haix.. maybe to them i'm a useless child.. haix.. i think i should finish my typing now..! it's 11.26 my head is damn heavy.. gtg.. BYe..!

*Life is Full of Regret. there's nothing i never regret.. haix.. why?!!!!!!!11 fucked up life with a fucked up mind..!

10:04:00 PM;

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