Saturday, June 12, 2004
Listen to: Ai Qing Bu Neng Zuo Bi Jiao (Baby)
Mood: Sad
I hate being left alone at home espically sat and sun. I don't know why, sometimes i wan my family members to be at home but none are at home, sometimes when i dun wan them to be at home they are at home.. Sometimes i need someone to care for mi but no one care, sometime when i dun need someone to care for me den they will come.. Sometimes i rather stay out rather than staying at home because staying at home can make mi think of sad things and make mi cry, i dunno why i cry but all i kn0w is that i'm a girl who really love to cry.. and sometime i will just get scolding for nothing the whole day.. it sucks... Sometimes i find that i am not part of the family but sometimes i feel like i am quite xing fu... My brother have been saying that i am getting bad to worst.. I guess i am.. i dunno why.. Sometime i dun mean to tok back but i dunno why i just say those hurting words.. sometimes when i wan to corner u all u all say me bother so much for what.. and when u all aSk me and i dun say u all say dunno do what shit things.. call u all come back early in order not to get scoLding u all dun listen to mi.. just simply go out till late night den make urself cannot wake up the next morning and get scolding den u happy... i hate it.. being with ur friends is more happy or family mroe happy? sometimes i even suspect my dad outside having another woman.. i know as a daughter i shouLd not think of that but i can't... whenever he's out i called him ask him wher he need to think and answer if not is ask mi why.. why can't i ask? showing concern also get scolding.. i just dunno why... An u are always out.. ONE WEEK U ARE NOT AT HOME ONE DAY.. Even when u have off day... Why? Can't u stay at home 3 tims a day or 2times a day? can die? or friends are more important? just hate it... Mum like to go out and gamble and always come back saying here pain there pain.. really vvery sad loh.. haiz... den pain sometyimes can even go out again.. i really dunno what u aldult are thinking... leaving me and my brother just live on.. can;t u all just be bother to ask about 0ur sch work when i wan u all to bother? if i fail u all will nag saying everytime use com... if i get result u all lan lan.. Did u all know that i'm always thinking of how lousy am i bring in Ang and Wong family? all are clever student and I am the only one kanna look down by others... But what can i do? stupid is the only word i can say myself.. I know some of u encouage me but i am just useless... People tents to ask mi what sch i just say ITE.. seems awarkard but who cares.. look down let u ppl look down.. have enough of all this nonsence.. U people 0utside just dunno whats happening between my family and I.. They have been giving me free sice i am primary sch.. It's like go where just go report wher i go can ler.. dun over a time to come back... and they dun bother what i do.. as long as i nv learn bad things can already... And i agree i am just too irritated when they all ask about study and nag at me.. so i just talk back.. u all know when i tok back i felt like a knife poke thru my heart and feel like crying? haiz.. u all dunno... say i am Hao Lam(in hokkian).. haiz. why? my brother is even more worst, i just dunno what he's thinking, always think of earning money and used up all in the next few weeks... stupid right? and now he's with those stupid tatoo on his body.. MAD... and my parent just jolly well keep quiet.. as a sista i already scolded him and warn him not to.. it's just UGLY... but he still did it.. my dad and mum saw liao still can ask him how much.. haiz.. useless them.. u all pray hard that ur son dun turn bad can liao.. not i pouring water but it's true.. for nothing follow people put tattoo for what? nice mehz? sucks man.. as for mi: sometime can be as rude until my parents wanted to slap me.. can talk back whenever i like, to them mayb they think i wan to.. i have no choice.. i can't just simply let u people SCOLD by nothing right? isn't it stupid? recently every night has thiking of many things.. friends, love, family, old h0use, old friends.. argh.. haiz.. h0pe that i can stop thinking at one moment... but if thats this moment i think i am dead... TOTALLY DEAD... haiz.. how i hope i can die earlier than to suffer in this worLd.. fuLL of sadness... argh... Hope tmr can be a betta day fer me...
My dear friends thanks for bring there fer me whenever i have something to complaint.. espically yanbin.. always hearing what is happening to my family and other stuff.. As for Huiping and Siewfong both of them are kinda busy with work so i seldom have the chance to have a good chat with them... BUT nevertheless we are still sista.. form as a sista since March or April 04 why i say 04 is coz last 4 years many things happen and march - april is because are overcome everything and become sista.. 4 of us... Siewfong, Huiping, Annie, Yanbin.. S.H.A.Y...
OoppPpSss.. i've read what my friend Huiping say about me.. I now think back i am really a BAD friend last time... that's what i did to her.. IT'S ME... Sorry.. Other than Sorry i dunno what to say ler.. Still the same Old sorry.. What i've done to them are so bad.. felt so sorry... All because i always think of bad side that course us like that.. Sorry hor... BUT now.. Huiping U are still my best sista.. Hope i can overcome all type of problem which are past... I dun wish to break up this friendship because i am losing one SOON. U know who is she... ya.. i'm gonna lost her as a friend soon.. coz because of what u know... she make mi real disappointed.. haiz.. In da past I mayb too childish ler.. SincenLy apologies to u peopLe... Dui Bu Qi, Sorry..
BabyStridy fades away at
1:35:00 PM;